Today I Cried

I was (and still very much am) very stressed and overwhelmed.  I entered this week knowing it would be very hard.  And even at that, I underestimated it.  This MONTH is going to be very very very very very times a gazzillion hard.  I called Marcos after leaving a meeting with two of the chairs on my thesis committee, and I could not hold back tears.  Usually, I have a mini anxiety attack, but I shot right passed that stage and went straight to the waterworks, and was also a big whiny baby about it.  

Writing a thesis is VERY hard.  I thought graduate classes alone were really hard, and I was really proud that I got the hang of it.  But thesis writing?  I don’t think I’ll ever get the hang of it.  It’s so difficult I can’t even look forward to being done and passed it, because it honestly feels like it’s getting harder and harder and more things need to get done and more things need to get redone and it’s never going to end.  

It probably doesn’t help at all that I’m taking 3 lecture+lab classes, one grad class, and am working most of the time that I’m not in class.  I’m not at all complaining about the work load that I have, I am very grateful for these opportunities.  I’m just very overwhelmed and stressed out.  I’ve put all my energy into school and now that I’m FINALLY, finally on the very last stretch, I’ve never wanted to quit more than I do now.  

I’m lucky I have such a great support system.  I wish there was more they could do to help, but it’s just me and God that are going to have to get through this.  *long sigh*