Getting Older

Everyday I feel a little older.  I’m not kidding.  I think about it everyday, that I’m getting older and how fast time is flying by.  I don’t know if it’s healthy or not, I mean I’m a little sad about it but it’s not depressing or anything, I’m happy.  It’s bittersweet, knowing that I’m that much closer to being done with school – for the past year I’ve struggled with this decision, and I’ve recently decided not to pursue my PhD, at least not for awhile.  School gets tiring, especially if you’re going at it, striving to be the best, since your toddler years.  Anyway, I’m truly ready to be done with school (in 8 months) and do things with my life that don’t necessarily involve school-based work (i.e. get a dog, find my own place, pay my loans *tears*, make some real career money, enjoy my weekends, get lost in a book for hours at a coffee shop/the beach, learn to finally surf, etc.) and mind you, I can do a ton of those things while in school, but it’s much harder when 99% of the time you’re trying to figure out if you even have time to finish your school work on top of your regular day job.  It gets overwhelming, but who am I to complain?  So, if God so graciously grants me more years of life, I’m hoping to do some happier things ( :

Also, as a disclaimer, I do love school.  I love learning, I love meeting people, I love having conversations with amazing professors and colleagues, I love the unknown schedules, the hours of inbetween breaks, the study nights, the study days, the study mornings, the random work hours, the endless coffee… I love it.  I love environmental health and my field.  I just don’t love the stress and overwhelming workload.  It tends to overpower.

Also, some other things that have been on my mind… I’m in a really good place right now.  Marcos is camping with some friends at Joshua Tree, and normally when he leaves I’m fine, I see it as an opportunity to get some work done or get some me-time.  This time around, however, I’ve been feeling like I miss him too much. Lol! I know, so strange.  Maybe it’s because we’ve been having some minor couple hiccups, nothing too crazy.  I was never a clingy girlfriend, but it just takes one person to… not necessarily change you but see yourself in a way you never thought you would.  What am I saying?  I’m not sure.  Just that I’m very blessed and I’ve got a good thing.  Believe me, I’m not one to say these things out loud.  3+ years down the line, I’m learning that I’m not only getting to know Marcos more and more, but myself as well.

He’s a great guy. (c: Everyone deserves a Marcos.

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